Self-Loathing Nighttime Conversations RSS

You will hate this.

This is where I store scraps of conversations that I have with people in New York City. Because I sorta hate myself, most of these conversations are with or about girls. Most scenes take place in bars or beds.

I warned you.

Archive

Nov
13th
Sun
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Me: I will lead you back to the land of Canaan.
Her: How do you know that word?
Me: There’s a VC firm in town called that.
Oct
28th
Fri
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Return of the Repressed

  • Me: I tumbled that and got zero notes; you tumbled that and got 23.
  • Her: Are you breaking up with me or am I breaking up with you?
Jul
3rd
Thu
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It is hard to laugh at the need for beauty and romance, no matter how tasteless, even horrible, the results of that need are. But it is easy to sigh. Few things are sadder than the truly monstrous.
— Nathanael West, “The Day of the Locust”
Jul
1st
Tue
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One Reason

  • Her: How do people end up in relationships in this city?
  • Me: I don't know. I think it's because they need an excuse to quit their coke habits.
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I'm In Like With You

  • [Kissing.]
  • Me: I like you.
  • Her: Okay.
  • Me: So what does that mean? In terms of weird NYC dating conventions?
  • Her: I don't know. I already follow you on Twitter.
Jun
30th
Mon
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The War

  • Me: The commenters are winning.
  • Him: To the victors go the spoils.
  • Me: That's grim.
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Internet Heroes

  • Me: We get the heroes we deserve.
  • Her: Fuck you, I deserve better.
Jun
29th
Sun
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Catch Phrases

  • Her: You're describing "serial monogamy," right?
  • Me: No, I hate that phrase. It sounds banal, scientific. Not only is it completely without passion, but it's also lost its meaning.
  • Her: What?
  • Me: It's true. It was once the perfect description of something, but that something is now gone.
  • Her: So what is it now?
  • Me: "Microlove."
  • Her: Yeah, that will catch on.
Jun
28th
Sat
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Transparency

  • Me: I have a new Tumblr. It captures all my self-loathing.
  • Her: It looks more like it captures all your self-mythologizing.
  • Me: I hate you.
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Feel It

  • [Sleep. Almost.]
  • Her: What is it you want?
  • Me: Like everyone else, to feel something.
  • Her: Really? I don't want to feel anything.
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Mind the Age Gap

  • Her: She's 23. Isn't she supposed to be back-packing across Europe or something right now?
  • Me: No, she's too busy trying to take over the world, not experience it.
  • Her: These millennials -- they're different than us.
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A Linguistic Cliche

  • Me: I made out with a cute 23-year-old girl with a Tumblr last night.
  • Him: Every part of speech of that sentence is redundant.
Jun
27th
Fri
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Mattering

  • Me: I secretly want someone to write the novel about this scene. I want someone to prove that all of this matters.
  • Him: The book on the scene is already out there -- it's written on all the blogs and illustrated by Flickr.
Jun
26th
Thu
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Originality

  • Me: The blogging scene is just a gigantic conspiracy to prove that "self-loathing" and "arrogant" are actually synonyms, not antonyms.
  • Her: You've already said that to me. Twice.
  • Me: My material is getting weak.
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No Fun

  • Me: I made the mistake of showing you my Tumblr while drunk last night.
  • Her: I remember.
  • Me: I'm sorry.
  • Her: Why are you trying to go all Gould-Lodwick on me?