“Me: I will lead you back to the land of Canaan.
Her: How do you know that word?
Me: There’s a VC firm in town called that.” —
Her: How do you know that word?
Me: There’s a VC firm in town called that.” —
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
1 post
Return of the Repressed
- Me: I tumbled that and got zero notes; you tumbled that and got 23.
- Her: Are you breaking up with me or am I breaking up with you?
July 2008
3 posts
“It is hard to laugh at the need for beauty and romance, no matter how tasteless, even horrible, the results of that need are. But it is easy to sigh. Few things are sadder than the truly monstrous.”
—Nathanael West, “The Day of the Locust”
One Reason
- Her: How do people end up in relationships in this city?
- Me: I don't know. I think it's because they need an excuse to quit their coke habits.
I'm In Like With You
- [Kissing.]
- Me: I like you.
- Her: Okay.
- Me: So what does that mean? In terms of weird NYC dating conventions?
- Her: I don't know. I already follow you on Twitter.
June 2008
21 posts
The War
- Me: The commenters are winning.
- Him: To the victors go the spoils.
- Me: That's grim.
Internet Heroes
- Me: We get the heroes we deserve.
- Her: Fuck you, I deserve better.
Catch Phrases
- Her: You're describing "serial monogamy," right?
- Me: No, I hate that phrase. It sounds banal, scientific. Not only is it completely without passion, but it's also lost its meaning.
- Her: What?
- Me: It's true. It was once the perfect description of something, but that something is now gone.
- Her: So what is it now?
- Me: "Microlove."
- Her: Yeah, that will catch on.
Transparency
- Me: I have a new Tumblr. It captures all my self-loathing.
- Her: It looks more like it captures all your self-mythologizing.
- Me: I hate you.
Feel It
- [Sleep. Almost.]
- Her: What is it you want?
- Me: Like everyone else, to feel something.
- Her: Really? I don't want to feel anything.
Mind the Age Gap
- Her: She's 23. Isn't she supposed to be back-packing across Europe or something right now?
- Me: No, she's too busy trying to take over the world, not experience it.
- Her: These millennials -- they're different than us.
A Linguistic Cliche
- Me: I made out with a cute 23-year-old girl with a Tumblr last night.
- Him: Every part of speech of that sentence is redundant.
Mattering
- Me: I secretly want someone to write the novel about this scene. I want someone to prove that all of this matters.
- Him: The book on the scene is already out there -- it's written on all the blogs and illustrated by Flickr.
Originality
- Me: The blogging scene is just a gigantic conspiracy to prove that "self-loathing" and "arrogant" are actually synonyms, not antonyms.
- Her: You've already said that to me. Twice.
- Me: My material is getting weak.
No Fun
- Me: I made the mistake of showing you my Tumblr while drunk last night.
- Her: I remember.
- Me: I'm sorry.
- Her: Why are you trying to go all Gould-Lodwick on me?
Reblogging
- Me: I tried to compare reblogging and dating on Twitter today.
- Her: How'd that go?
- Me: Oh, you know Twitter -- deep conversations erupted.
- Her: What's your theory?
- Me: Both are about aggregating, affiliating, churning, repurposing.
- Her: Do you count your reblogs?
- Me: Now you're catching on.
LOL
- [Not a chat session.]
- Me: I hate the Facebook status thing.
- Her: Yes, everyone does.
- Me: But I think it's fascist.
- Her: You don't think "It's complicated" fills in the blanks?
- Me: It's all fucking complicated!
- Her: LOL.
Your Other Number
- [Couch]
- Me: Remember when people used to ask each other how many people they've slept with?
- Her: No.
Hookup Culture
- [Drunk]
- Me: I've finally figured it out.
- Her: Oh, this should be good.
- Me: It's called "Hookup Culture." That's what we're living in.
- Her: You need a name for this?
- Me: I do. But only because it's different.
- Her: Is it?
- Me: Yes! I think you're too young to realize that.
- Her: My innocence is shattered.
Happiness
- [Bed.]
- Me: Are you happy?
- Her: Would you please quit asking me that?
