Self-Loathing Nighttime Conversations

You will hate this.

This is where I store scraps of conversations that I have with people in New York City. Because I sorta hate myself, most of these conversations are with or about girls. Most scenes take place in bars or beds.

I warned you.

Your Other Number

[Couch]
Me: Remember when people used to ask each other how many people they've slept with?
Her: No.

Hookup Culture

[Drunk]
Me: I've finally figured it out.
Her: Oh, this should be good.
Me: It's called "Hookup Culture." That's what we're living in.
Her: You need a name for this?
Me: I do. But only because it's different.
Her: Is it?
Me: Yes! I think you're too young to realize that.
Her: My innocence is shattered.

Jun
24th

Tue

Happiness

[Bed.]
Me: Are you happy?
Her: Would you please quit asking me that?

The Scene

[Drinks. A small group, giving advice.]
Her: You need to date outside the scene.
Me: Should I be taking notes?
Him: It's true. Date outside the scene.
Me: Is this a maxim?
Her: Always date outside the scene.
Me: I promise you that I will date outside the scene. And inside the scene.

Alleys

[Drinks.]
Me: Do people go on dates here?
Him: Sure.
Me: I don't believe you. I think people just make out in alleys.
Him: Now I know you're full of shit. New York doesn't have any alleys!
Me: Well, everything feels like an alley.

Jun
20th

Fri

Number Exchanges

[Porch. Morning.]
Her: Here's my number.
Me: What am I going to do with this?
Her: Call me.
Me: On the phone? People don't call each other any more, do they?
Her: How else do you tell a boy you like him.
Me: Follow him on Twitter.

Jun
17th

Tue

Bloggers

[Dinner.]
Her: You need to get more friends who aren't bloggers.
[Pause.]
Me: More?
Her: Okay. Any.

Jun
16th

Mon

Your Number

[Bi-coastal chat session.]
Him: How often are you getting laid?
Me: That's an interesting question.
Him: Mm?
Me: The makeout-to-sex ratio is high in this city. You makeout a ton, but you only have sex maybe one in eight times.
Him: Aha.
Me: I don't know if it's geography, or the scene, or the casualness with which people make out.
Him: Good. I'm still getting laid more than you.

Bedtime

[A bed. Dark. Late.]
Me: I have a question for you.
Her: Okay.
Me: Um, do you hook up with lots of people?
Her: You're really going to ask that?
Me: Yeah. I know it's a dumb...
Her: Yes, I guess I do.
Me: Okay, me too. Way more since moving here though.
[Pause.]
Me: I don't know how anyone has relationships here.
Her: I don't want a relationship.
Me: I wasn't trying to imply that.
[Long silence.]